This just in, a hilarious list from CURMUDGEON-AT-LARGE, highly deserving of this REBLOG.
Many of you may be confused about the procedures to follow during the coronavirus pandemic. Thankfully, FOAF (friend of a friend) has mercifully given us the clear, official coronavirus guidelines.
Follow. Them. Exactly.
- Basically, you can’t leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.
- Masks are useless. But they will protect you. They can save you, no they can’t. They’re useless, but wear one anyway. Now they’re mandatory. Maybe. Or maybe not.
- Stores are closed, except for the ones that are open.
- You should not go to the hospital unless you have to go there. Stay out of the ER at all costs unless you’re having a medical emergency. Then it’s okay.
- This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster. Stay calm.
- There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there…
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Still Skeptical After All These Years 
Thank you for your letter printed in the Globe today. I was hoping that you would respond to the parochial view expressed by Mr. Burlingame.
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